I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a squirter
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize