So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
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I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
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It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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