im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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