Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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