worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."