If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Girls should come with a carfax report
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?