i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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