it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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