We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
