is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
