I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Randomize