Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
