You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Randomize
