I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
