It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
