I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize