I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize