Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
And then he peed in my hair
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