My underwear smells like fireworks.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
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