I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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