And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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