He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
