I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
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my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
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There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever