You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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