Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead

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  (415): its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead http://tfl.nu/3qus
  Replies (45) Good night (787) Bad night (3405)
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  (661): View more from California

  how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?

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  (661): how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth? http://tfl.nu/fdur
  Replies (45) Good night (817) Bad night (3687)
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  (818): View more from California

  sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom

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  (818): sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom http://tfl.nu/c141
  Replies (18) Good night (769) Bad night (4397)
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  (516): View more from New York

  i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car

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  (516): i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car http://tfl.nu/yqns
  Replies (27) Good night (1288) Bad night (5619)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow

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  (860): i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow http://tfl.nu/61vx
  Replies (66) Good night (652) Bad night (6064)
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  (716): View more from New York

  You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...

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  (716): You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am... http://tfl.nu/rcas
  Replies (16) Good night (1169) Bad night (5254)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...

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  (913): It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason... http://tfl.nu/n9s7
  Replies (17) Good night (5152) Bad night (1874)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.

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  (419): had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me. http://tfl.nu/ffp2
  Replies (4) Good night (933) Bad night (2332)
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  (310): View more from California

  A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.

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  (310): A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf. http://tfl.nu/8l3i
  Replies (2) Good night (1330) Bad night (775)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.

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  (512): I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured. http://tfl.nu/n2gu
  Replies (6) Good night (2285) Bad night (577)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.

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  (605): I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more. http://tfl.nu/w7nf
  Replies (14) Good night (1350) Bad night (844)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.

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  (574): I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her. http://tfl.nu/9498
  Replies (2) Good night (1925) Bad night (372)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.

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  (508): Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess. http://tfl.nu/kvya
  Replies (7) Good night (1683) Bad night (460)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again

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  (240): All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again http://tfl.nu/54xi
  Replies (5) Good night (1266) Bad night (286)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.

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  (570): I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head. http://tfl.nu/umyc
  Replies (4) Good night (423) Bad night (297)

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