ADVERTISEMENT

• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.

  Fav 2 1093 1029

  share tweet
  

• (985): View more from Louisiana

  Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.

  Fav 43 5130 1211

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.

  Fav 12 6124 1035

  share tweet
  

• (973): View more from New Jersey

  i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog

  Fav 12 1178 3020

  share tweet
  
• 

  23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (410): View more from Maryland

  I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.

  Fav 9 733 1079

  share tweet
  

• (562): View more from California

  Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night

  Fav 4 1148 674

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (828): View more from North Carolina

  i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?

  Fav 8 894 1530

  share tweet
  

• (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out

  Fav 13 1197 1425

  share tweet
  

• (816): View more from Missouri

  Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs

  Fav 1 516 908

  share tweet
  
• 

  These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.

  Fav 24 946 2563

  share tweet
  

• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,

  Fav 0 1021 527

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to

  Fav 0 852 494

  share tweet
  

• (425): View more from Washington

  You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.

  Fav 1 762 370

  share tweet
  

• (585): View more from New York

  I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.

  Fav 3 206 244

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.

  Fav 0 72 116

  share tweet
  

Randomize