wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
