There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
