I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
