it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize