You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
