Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
you will always have a special place in my vag
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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