if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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