i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
