Small penises have feelings too.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
