i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
