There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
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So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
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All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize