Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
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