bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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