Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
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Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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