i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
