I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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