there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
