hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
