he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
