so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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