Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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