He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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