he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
