oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
