OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
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