i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
