You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Can you repeat that, but with context?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
