Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize