my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
