i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
