Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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