Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
