No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.