bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
My throat feels like a candle.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.