yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
ugly people sure do ruin things
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza