Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.