Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.