Texts From Last Night

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  (386): View more from Florida

  No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.

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  (386): No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable. http://tfl.nu/h3dd
  Replies (13) Good night (621) Bad night (2003)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me

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  (678): I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me http://tfl.nu/yjun
  Replies (7) Good night (1230) Bad night (2468)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.

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  (516): I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen. http://tfl.nu/vaik
  Replies (13) Good night (1465) Bad night (3813)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I wish i was in the wii world.

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  (402): I wish i was in the wii world. http://tfl.nu/send
  Replies (5) Good night (2799) Bad night (886)
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  (415): View more from California

  the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.

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  (415): the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties. http://tfl.nu/jpbi
  Replies (25) Good night (13038) Bad night (785)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it

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  (508): Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it http://tfl.nu/y6rt
  Replies (16) Good night (4406) Bad night (1024)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.

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  (717): Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this. http://tfl.nu/jiq7
  Replies (15) Good night (7443) Bad night (1241)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.

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  (614): Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok. http://tfl.nu/bya3
  Replies (6) Good night (1722) Bad night (803)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.

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  (719): I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed. http://tfl.nu/z9qp
  Replies (7) Good night (2834) Bad night (1080)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere

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  (907): I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him (307): Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere http://tfl.nu/182x
  Replies (4) Good night (1164) Bad night (553)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.

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  (773): I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain. http://tfl.nu/ynjh
  Replies (0) Good night (815) Bad night (442)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.

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  (252): A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place. http://tfl.nu/7ilw
  Replies (4) Good night (1148) Bad night (417)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.

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  (773): okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis. http://tfl.nu/pm2x
  Replies (2) Good night (356) Bad night (786)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?

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  (314): Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave? http://tfl.nu/zqej
  Replies (3) Good night (652) Bad night (246)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.

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  (954): There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies. http://tfl.nu/lhs1
  Replies (2) Good night (552) Bad night (347)

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