i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma