I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
a search helicopter?!
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
