How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
