About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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