one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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